Re: Body Image
I’m 19 and I’ve been fat ever since I can remember. It’s always been a sensitive issue for me, however I’m a fun person and when comments are made about my weight I pretend to not notice them or I joke around. The truth is that it hurts. A lot. I seem to be obsessed with food. Right now I have a block of Dairy Milk in my desk drawer that’s half eaten. I just find it so hard to actually stop eating, and it’s ruining my health. I’ve recently been under a lot of stress from studying and I’ve been under time constraints, so I often eat what is quickest. I know it’s simple to make the choice of switching simple ingredients in a sandwich, but my mouth wont let me, no matter how much my brain screams it out. I am now a size 14-16 and I get so self conscious when I go out that I’ve started to just stay at home with my family. They love and accept me, but my mum continues to make comments, my little sister is catwalk model material and my dad laughs at fat people on the street.
The point of my ramblings is that I’m trying to give the thinner girls an insight into what it’s like to be fat. Constantly walking around with your gut tucked in, crying into your pillow at night, stuffing your face with chocolate because the sweet taste gets your mind off your problems, it is harder than you think.
However, before reading these posts I have never realised that thin people feel the same way. They too are harassed about their weight. But I ask you size 6, 8 and 10s: do you feel physically comfortable with your body? I find it hard to walk, I sweat easily, I find it hard to fit into clothes. I have trust issues with guys because I feel as though I am not attractive, so I think to myself: what else could they want from me if I’m not attractive to them? Answer: they want to use me – sex, money, whatever. I can’t be with a guy because I feel uncomfortable: when all the other girls are sitting in their boyfriends’ laps, what do I do? When the other girls are getting piggybacks from their boyfriends, do I give him one?
Girls, it’s hard no matter what size you are. The point is, try and coach yourself to be happy and confident with who you are, because trust me, it’s a terrible thing to feel like you’re going to burst into tears everytime you see a gorgeous woman grab the attention of every guy in the room as soon as she walks in. I hate my body and I hate my face, but I guess everyone will just tell me to deal with it.